We tend to look at motivation as something that’s the same for everyone, but when you think about it for more than a couple of seconds, you soon realise that can’t be the case. If it were, we would all be after the same jobs, wanting to run the same businesses, playing the same sports and buying the same houses. But we don’t do thankfully. That’s why there isn’t a motivational silver bullet. We are all different yet we all respond to something that makes us feel great and want to get more.
The key to tapping into as much motivation as you need is understanding what motivation really is.
Business still thinks of rewarding people with money, the better ones trying giving people more say over what they do, providing flexible work and even attaching a purpose to what we do. That’s all very well, but it doesn’t allow for our personal differences. It’s still lumping all ‘motivations’ together, and hoping one of them applies!
I had been interviewing people for months for a new book I was writing and I was struggling to find a pattern to what they were telling me about how they motivated themselves when I realised something; they were all telling me something similar. Instead of telling me about what they did, they were telling me how they felt BEFORE they had their breakthrough. They were telling me about their context.
That’s when I realised I was onto something. That’s when the 5 Flames ignited and they have proved to shine a light onto why we have been looking in the wrong places for what really motivates us. It turns out that much of what drives us was triggered way back in our early lives but because the context has changed we tend to dismiss the signs. That’s why we so often struggle to ‘find our thing’ and develop it.
Here’s what my world-class interviewees were telling me they were looking for. They wanted to:
- Get ‘into the zone’ – total focus, in their own world and immersed in something.
- Feel the buzz of being at the heart of a group, team or at the heart of a network
- Get results that they could quantify – winning something or being able to measure their success in comparison to others or against a plan
- Express themselves – to show or describe the human emotional condition through art, writing, movement or discussion
- Experience the thrill of discovering new things, pushing boundaries of innovation or learning
Now, at first, I looked at the content. What was it that they did? What strategies did they follow, routines did they have, tips or hacks that they could share?
I was missing what was right in front of me but eventually the penny dropped. They all had different ways of getting those feelings that gave them the biggest buzz. The subjects, jobs, hobbies etc. that they chose all related to the feelings that they wanted. When you see it everything changes!
For example, flow people chose jobs that put them into ‘the zone’, hobbies that did the same and made lifestyle choices based on the same criteria. When they did that, they were happy. When they didn’t, they were miserable.
People who wanted to be a the heart of a team. They chose team based jobs, projects and businesses, they loved team sports and time with friends and family. The people who wanted results went into sales or accountancy, played competitive sport /games/ past times and wanted to know where they stood in the rankings at all times. People who wanted expression wrote songs, poetry, sang, danced and acted up. People who were deeply curious asked questions, became scientists, coaches, researches and in their spare time read, asked, or dug into new things.
We all have a preference for a set of feelings and we live consistently to get those same feelings – over and over again. We just don’t always realise it. That’s what the 5 flames are.
They are a way of finding our deepest happiness and being most motivated while we are searching for it. We can use the 5 Flames to discover our perfect career path, hobbies and find our greatest strengths. The 5 Flames are:
- FLOW motivation
- INCLUSION motivation
- RESULTS motivation
- EXPRESSION motivation
- DISCOVERY motivation
So which one is yours? In the next article, I’m going to investigate how the 5 Flames work together and what natural skills come with each one. You are probably going to discover that you have more hidden gifts than you realised – and more ways of applying them than you have even thought about. Your key to job satisfaction and your long term happiness is in the flames. Until next time.
You can buy the book Find Your Flame – Why Motivation Matters More Than Talent from Amazon at https://amzn.to/2Qvqyc0
